Cocktail Hacker

We’ve all got a number of glands performing various tasks in our bodies. Now, I’m no anatomy expert but last I checked I don’t have a Monkey Gland. I’ll double check…Thymus (check)…Salivary (check)…Monkey (yeah, no). Hmmm…Well, sounds like a tasty cocktail and thus a good choice for this week’s investigations.

Gary Regan notes that there are two main variants on this classic. The original utilizes absinthe for it’s flavor enhancer and is documented in the Savoy Cocktail book. Since absinthe was not available in the US at the time a variant was created that swaps Benedictine for the absinthe. Fear not though, my liver has enough capacity to try them both for you.

Monkey Gland #1 (Joy of Mixology)

2 oz Gin

1 oz Fresh Orange Juice

Benedictine to Taste

Grenadine to Taste

1) Combine ingredients in a shaker with ice

2) Shake until thoroughly chilled

3) Strain into a chilled cocktail glass

Monkey Gland #2 (Joy of Mixology)

2 1/2 oz Gin

3/4 oz Fresh Orange Juice

Absinthe to Taste

Grenadine to Taste

1) Combine ingredients in a shaker with ice

2) Shake until thoroughly chilled

3) Strain into a chilled cocktail glass

The week of Apple Martinis, although not the manliest thing I’ve ever done, actually wasn’t a terrible experience. In fact, I’d be so bold as to say that this drink has gotten a bad rap. Sure, given the recipe you choose it can be a little unnatural tasting there are options to help out. Let’s start there.

Apple Martini (Joy of Mixology) – [2 oz Vodka or Gin – 1 oz Apple Schnapps] – This recipe made with vodka had a very light apple flavor and interestingly it wasn’t as artificial as I expected. Although, I wouldn’t go with vodka again. It simply didn’t bring anything to the party and was a little boring. Now, you mix it with gin, albeit a light one, and you’ve got a serious cocktail on your hands. In my case I wanted a lightly flavored citrus forward gin so the obvious choice was Bombay Sapphire. It worked great in this drink and would definitely be my choice going forward.

Apple Martini (Difford’s Guide – Recipe 1) – [2 1/2 oz Vodka – 2 oz Apple Juice – 1/4 oz Rich Syrup] – This recipe is sweet and apply but lacks the tartness that the schnapps brings to the party. If you could score fresh Granny Smith juice this would be a great option.

Apple Martini (Difford’s Guide – Recipe 2) – [2 oz Vodka – 3/4 oz Apple Pucker – 2 oz Apple Juice] – This version really tastes like fresh apples. The pucker adds a nice bit of tartness which is really pleasant. I really like this recipe.

Apple Martini (Equal Parts) – [1 1/2 oz Gin – 1 1/2 oz Apple Juice – 1 1/2 oz Apple Schnapps] – This is another good variation. It pumps up the tartness even more but maintains the fresh flavor. Another good recipe, especially with the gin.

For me it’s a toss up between the second Difford’s recipe and the equal parts recipe. They’re both pleasantly fresh tasting with a nice tartness. In the end it’s up to you and the amount of tartness you’d like in your drink. For either recipe go for the gin option. I think you’ll be pleasantly surprised with the additional flavor. But make sure you use a light gin otherwise it could get funky.

Finally, I got to do a little experimenting over the week. One of the things that has always intrigued me about Apple Pucker is that it turns completely clear over time. I decided to see if I could speed up the process. I put about 3 oz of Pucker (left) in a flask and set it in my south-facing for the week. After only 5 days it was crystal clear (right). Interestingly the flavor really didn’t change noticeably. I have absolutely no clue what causes the change but it is kinda cool. Oh, and in case it wasn’t completely clear that I’m a geek, this is the container I used to sun age the pucker.

That’s right, I’m putting away my man card for the week and doing the Apple Martini. Certainly they must be tasty.

Okay, now that the intro sentence has scared away all the hardcore cocktail aficionados I can tell you the truth. I’ve had an Apple Martini or seven in my time and I kinda like them. Granted it’s in the same category of like where I lump Twinkies and Slim Jims, but still, there is fondness. My biggest gripes have always been that they can be overly sweet at times and that they can taste rather artificial. So, this week I’m going to see if I can’t ferret out an Apple Martini that isn’t overly sweet, isn’t artificial tasting and still packs a sufficient ‘tini punch. I’ll start as I usually do with the Joy of Mixology recipe.

Apple Martini (Joy of Mixology)

2 oz Gin or Vodka

1 oz Green-Apple Schnapps

1) Stir and strain into a chilled cocktail glass

And finally to get you prepped and ready, J.D. on the Appletini.

I’m going to take a somewhat interesting turn this week. I’m going to cover a cocktail that has no sweetening agent whatsoever. This isn’t the first time I’ve covered a drink like this, but they’re fairly few and far between. A (distant) relative of the Gimlet I’m going to be looking at the Rickey this week and specifically the Gin Rickey. This drink can be made with any white spirit you like as a base so I’ll give a few a try and let you know what I like best.

Gin Rickey (Joy of Mixology)

3/4 oz Lime Juice

2 oz Gin

3-4 oz Club Soda

Lime Wedge for Garnish

1) Build in an ice filled collins glass.

2) Garnish with a lime wedge.

I’m a huge fan of club soda so I’m thinking I might like the dryness of this drink. Give me a week and I’ll let you know for sure.

The Dude certainly had the right idea. The White Russian is truly a tasty cocktail. There isn’t a huge amount of room for experimentation here so I’m going to leave this one mostly up to the drinker. That said, I do have a few bits of advice.

One – Branch out from your normal coffee liqueur. There are others out there and as you saw in my rave review of Corretto, some of them are really spectacular.

Two – Change up the ratio. Switching things up allows you to control the level of sweetness, richness and flavor levels in this drink. This will be especially necessary if you choose a different liqueur that may not have the same sugar content as Kahlua.

Three – Finally, not all cream is created equal. I’ve been using table cream for my drinks and find it to be the right choice. Heavy cream has an even higher fat content and will make your drink even more rich, which isn’t necessarily a good thing in this case. Half and half is an okay choice, but it’s lower in fat than table cream and may make your drink a bit watery.

So there you have it. My brief commentary on the White Russian. Enjoy!